from Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat Pray Love

“I keep remembering one of my Guru’s teachings about happiness.  She says that people universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you’re fortunate enough.  But that’s not how happiness works.  Happiness is the consequence of personal effort.  You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it.  You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings.  And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.  If you don’t, you will leak away your innate contentment.  It’s easy enough to pray when you’re in distress but continuing to pray even when your crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to its good attainments.”

Tonight I am swimming upward into happiness.  I’ve been treading water for a time, caught in the trap of trying to satisfy a more conventional idea of success?  worth?  value?  I found myself in a frenzy of activity persuing, I’ll admit it, the almighty dollar.  I see now that I was persuing the puny dollar. 

Enough of that nonsense. 

Scribbled on a random page in my daytimer is a note I must have jotted down to ponder later or to pass on to my coaching clients:  “Use everything you’ve got to make a difference in the world.”  I know that what I’ve got to make a difference in the world is directly linked to my happiness – when I’m happy, I make a difference.  And when I’m making a difference, I’m happy.

So, what have you got?

Posted: January 13th, 2010 under On a more personal note, life coaching.
Comments: none

I joined a facebook group called the 40 Day Challenge; where everyone commits to something, anything, for 40 days.  When I joined I didn’t know what I was going to commit to — some people are getting up at 7am, meditating, dieting, etc. — but I knew I wanted it to be something meaningful… something that would contribute to my personal well being as well as the bigger picture.  While I was on a silent retreat, I found these Five Mindfulness Trainings in Thich Nhat Hanh’s, Creating True Peace.  I am on day 10 of my practice.  Here they are:  Reverance for Life Aware of the suffering caused by the destruction of life, I vow to cultivate compassion and learn ways to protect the lives of people, animals, plants, and minerals.  I am determined not to kill, not to let others kill, and not to condone any act of killing in the world, in my thinking, or in my way of life.  Generosity Aware of the suffering caused by exploitation, social injustice, stealing, and oppression, I vow to cultivate loving kindness and learn ways to work for the well-being of people, animals, plants, and minerals.  I vow to practice generosity by sharing my time, energy, and material resources with those who are in real need.  I am determined not to steal and not to possess anything that should belong to others.  I will respect the property of others, but I will prevent others from profiting from human suffering or the suffering of other species on earth.  Sexual Responsibility Aware of the suffering caused by sexual misconduct, I vow to cultivate responsibility and learn ways to protect the safety and integrity of individuals, couples, families, and society.  I am determined not to engage in sexual relations without love and a long-term commitment.  To preserve the happiness of others, and myself, I am determined to respect my commitments and the commitments of others.  I will do everything in my power to protect children from sexual abuse and to protect couples and families from being broken by sexual misconduct.  Deep Listening and Loving Speech Aware of the suffering caused by the inability to listen to others and unmindful speech, I vow to cultivate deep listening and loving speech in order to bring joy and happiness to others and relieve others of their suffering.  Knowing that words can create happiness or suffering, I vow to learn to speak truthfully with words that inspire self-confidence, joy, and hope.  I am determined not to spread news that I do not know to be certain, and not to criticize or condemn things of which I am not sure.  I will refrain from uttering words that can cause division or discord, or that can cause the family or the community to break.  I will make all efforts to reconcile and resolve all conflicts, however small.  Mindful Consumption Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful consumption, I vow to cultivate good health, both physical and mental, for myself, my family, and my society by practicing mindful eating, drinking, and consuming.  I vow to ingest only items that preserve peace, well-being, and joy in my body, in my consciousness, and in the collective body and consciousness of my family and society.  I understand that a proper diet is crucial for self-transformation and for the transformation of society.  I am determined not to use alcohol or any other intoxicant, or to ingest food or other items that contain toxins, such as certain TV programs, magazines, books, films, and conversations.  I am aware that to damage my body or my consciousness with these poisons is to betray my ancestors, my parents, my society, and future generations.  I will work to transform violence, fear, anger, and confusion in myself and in society by practicing mindful eating for myself and for society.

Posted: September 19th, 2009 under life coaching.
Comments: 3

I was listening to a recording from a retreat with Adyashanti I attended in April and wanted to share this bit with you from an exchange Adya was having with one of the participants.  She was expressing her frustration with the struggle towards awakening.  

I’m not saying to stop struggling.

Everything,

Everything,

Everything … is the divine expression; including struggling, thinking, imagining, egoing.  Everything is ultimately the divine expression.  There’s only the one.  Everything is the divine expression.  Everything, including struggling, including striving.  It’s all the divine expression.  All of it.

We keep thinking certain things are it and certain things are not it...  The whole human condition.  The trying to find what you are, the thinking that you’ve lost what you are.  That’s the divine expression.  The realizing it is the divine expression.  You literally can’t get away from it.

So don’t package something that’s happening within you as wrong.  When I say let go of struggling, it’s not a command.  I’m not really talking to your ego, because I know your ego can’t really let go of struggling.  I’m actually talking to that which knows and reminding it as if to say, “Remember you don’t need to struggle.”  I’m bypassing the ego.  So it’s not a command, it’s like, “Remember?  The struggle is the divine expression…. but remember, it’s not necessary.”  As soon as you see that everything is the expression, including the struggle, including the thoughts.  Somehow when you see that, then the struggle lets go.  Even though it is the divine expression, when you see that it is, it let’s go.  When you see that thought can be very delusory and cause a dream state and all sorts of things — the experience of division and separation and all the cruelty and harm that ensues from that – but that’s not separate from the divine expression either.  When we see the whole thing as the expression, then somehow illusion collapses.

The best thing that can ever be done for awakening is to come completely out of division with yourself.  Because that which you are, it’s not waiting for minds to be calmed, struggles to stop.  It’s not waiting for knowledge to be attained, questions to be answered.  Who you are is not waiting for anything at all in order to be what it is.  It’s just that mistaken assumption that something must be wrong because of how I feel or how I behave or because my mind is nutty.  Something must be, that’s the underlying misperception, misunderstanding.  But everything is the divine expression, everything.

This really takes the steam out of “I’m not good enough” doesn’t it?

Posted: August 8th, 2008 under life coaching.
Comments: 5

There was a time when I felt too self conscious to dance… without the aid of a glass of wine or two.  I choose now to feel a little akward and risk looking a little silly.  It is way more fun dancing than sitting watching people dance…   

My son and I have known that it is impossible to look at a baby or a puppy without smiling.  Betcha happy people dancing will have the same effect; just watch — Happy People Dancing on Planet Earth

Posted: July 23rd, 2008 under On a more personal note, life coaching.
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“We spend our lives waiting for the great day, the great battle, or the great deed of power. But that external consummation is not given to many, nor is it necessary.  So long as our being is tensed passionately into the spirit in everything, then that spirit will emerge from our hidden, nameless efforts.

To reach these priceless layers is to experience with equal truth that one has need of everything and that one has need of nothing.  Everything is needed because the world will never be large enough to quench our tastes…  and yet nothing is needed because the only reality that can satisfy us lies beyond the transparencies in which it is mirrored.  But everything fades away and dies between us and it will only give reality back to us with greater purity after all.  Everything means both everything and nothing.  Everything is God to me and everything is dust.”
~ Teilhard de Chardin

As a life coach, I hear my clients often saying that they need to find something to be excited about.  There is a be more, do more, have more culture that we are constantly bombarded with.  I am coming to understand that this longing and constant wanting that we feel is for something of a far deeper meaning than trips and trinkets will ever fulfill.

Posted: July 20th, 2008 under life coaching.
Comments: 1