from Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat Pray Love

“I keep remembering one of my Guru’s teachings about happiness.  She says that people universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you’re fortunate enough.  But that’s not how happiness works.  Happiness is the consequence of personal effort.  You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it.  You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings.  And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.  If you don’t, you will leak away your innate contentment.  It’s easy enough to pray when you’re in distress but continuing to pray even when your crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to its good attainments.”

Tonight I am swimming upward into happiness.  I’ve been treading water for a time, caught in the trap of trying to satisfy a more conventional idea of success?  worth?  value?  I found myself in a frenzy of activity persuing, I’ll admit it, the almighty dollar.  I see now that I was persuing the puny dollar. 

Enough of that nonsense. 

Scribbled on a random page in my daytimer is a note I must have jotted down to ponder later or to pass on to my coaching clients:  “Use everything you’ve got to make a difference in the world.”  I know that what I’ve got to make a difference in the world is directly linked to my happiness – when I’m happy, I make a difference.  And when I’m making a difference, I’m happy.

So, what have you got?

Posted: January 13th, 2010 under On a more personal note, life coaching.
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These are the affirmations I am currently working with and truly enjoying.  They are taken from Catherine Ponder’s the Dynamic Laws of Prosperity.  I just love the rich language she uses…

I give thanks for the immediate, complete, divine fulfillment of these desires.  This or something better comes forth with perfect timing according to God’s rich good for me:

• My financial affairs are in divine order.  Everyday in everyway, I am getting richer and richer.
• Money flows to me easily and effortlessy according to God’s rich good for me.
• My financial income can and does increase dramatically now through the direct action of God.
• All financial doors are open.
• All financial channels are free and endless bounty now comes to me.
• Abundance, wealth, health and happiness.  Divine intelligence is even now opening the way for my immediate blessings.
• I have faith that all that is mine by divine right now comes to me in rich abundance.
• My rich blessings only add to everyone else’s good since God’s rich substance is unlimited and everywhere for all.  There is no delay!
• I give thanks for ever increasing health, wealth, energy, youth and beauty.
• I begin choosing and accepting the highest good in life.
• I now choose and accept health, success and happiness.
• I now choose lavish abundance for myself and all humankind!
• This is a rich and friendly universe and I dare to accept its riches, its hospitality and to enjoy them now.
• Perfect work in the perfect way for perfect pay.
• I am now living a delightful, interesting and satisfying life of the most widely useful kind.  Because of my own increased health, wealth and happiness, I am now able to help others live a delightful, interesting and satisfying life of the most widely useful kind.
• I am now activated by Divine Love and guided by Divine Power to my right work, which I perform in a perfect way, for perfect pay.
• The divine plan of my life now takes shape in definite, concrete experiences leading to perfect health, happiness, success and prosperity.
• I am now open and receptive to the rich, divine ideas that now perfectly initiate and sustain my business affairs.
• I am divinely equipped to accomplish great things with ease!

Divine intelligence, what positive, constructive, creative thought, word, attitude or action is my next step to improve my present work?

What is the next step into the abundance, satisfaction and freedom that is mine by divine right?

Posted: September 19th, 2009 under On a more personal note.
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I was having a conversation this morning with my husband about finances, work ethics and dreams.  We have a very different outlook on each of these topics and yet share similar dreams. 

A girlfriend called this morning… as I write a hummingbird has come to visit my sweet peas… to let me know she is busy all weekend.  She is excited about her business and has some free time away from the responsibilities of her three young boys as they have gone camping for the weekend.  She wants to do something “amazing” this weekend to maximize the “free” time.  So she’s going to do some networking at our music festival.  We also have a very different approach to living our dreams.

As for me, this morning I have been puttering in my house.  Tidying, doing laundry, washing dishes, listening to some of my favourite music (Cat Stevens, Van Morrisson, Bossa ‘n Stones, Yvette Narlock and now Goddess Chants), drinking tea and now doing a little writing.  My tummy has had something up for a week and I’ve just come down with a cold.  Even so, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world right now.

 Does it get any better than this?  I can’t imagine.

 I’ve had some pretty big dreams over the course of my 40 years so far on the planet.  To write a book (done), swim with the dolphins (done; I still want to swim with the whales), go to Africa (done), make a difference in people’s lives (done), love my children (done), fall in love (done, this one I liked so much I’ve done it LOTS of times).  I fulfilled some dreams I didn’t even know I had… run 5 marathons, become an entrepreneur, travelled to Korea, met Wayne Dyer, Neale Walsch, Marianne Williamson, seen the Dalai Lama speak, shared 5 days of silence with Adyashanti.

 I’ve definitely got a few more dreams in me, there’s another book to be written, I’d like to leave some kind of lasting legacy in Africa, I’d like to be fully engaged and making a great living doing the work that I was born to do, I’d like to meet more peace keepers and spiritual teachers, there is much of the world left to explore (Europe, India, Peru, South America)… but for right now, in this moment I am content and so blessed.  I have love in my life and I am enough.  That’s what dreams are made of for me.

Posted: July 11th, 2009 under On a more personal note.
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There was a time when I felt too self conscious to dance… without the aid of a glass of wine or two.  I choose now to feel a little akward and risk looking a little silly.  It is way more fun dancing than sitting watching people dance…   

My son and I have known that it is impossible to look at a baby or a puppy without smiling.  Betcha happy people dancing will have the same effect; just watch — Happy People Dancing on Planet Earth

Posted: July 23rd, 2008 under On a more personal note, life coaching.
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On Saturday, April 12th, I was married to Terry Nielsen in the sunshine surrounded by friends and loved ones. We adapted the ceremony from “Conversations With God, Book 3,” by Neale Donald Walsh. I’ll share it with you here:

“Terry and Tanya have not come here today to make a solemn promise or to exchange a sacred vow.

They have come here to make public their love for each other; to declare their choice to live as partners and grow together - out loud and in your presence, out of their desire that we will all come to feel a very real and intimate part of their decision, and thus make it even more powerful.

They’ve also come here today in the further hope that their ritual of bonding will help bring us all closer together. If you are here today with a partner, let this ceremony be a reminder - a rededication of your own loving bond.

We’ll begin by asking the question: Why get married? Terry and Tanya have answered this question for themselves, and they’ve told me the answer. Now I want to ask them one more time, so they can be sure of their answer and firm in their commitment to the truth they share.

You have told me it is your firm understanding that you are not entering into this marriage for reasons of security . . .
. . .  that the only real security is not in owning or possessing, nor in being owned or possessed . . .
. . . not in demanding or expecting, and not even in hoping, that what you think you need in life will be supplied by the other . . .
. . . but rather, in knowing that everything you need in life, all the love, all the wisdom, all the insight, all the power, all the knowledge, all the understanding, all the nurturing, all the compassion, and all the strength . . . resides within you . . .

. . . and that you are not marrying the other in hopes of getting these things, but in hopes of giving these gifts, that the other might have them in even greater abundance.
Is that your firm understanding today?

(We say, “It is.”)

And Terry and Tanya, you have told me it is your firm understanding you are not entering into this marriage as a means of in any way limiting, controlling, hindering, or restricting each other from any true expression of that which is the highest and best within you - including your spirituality, your love of life, your love of people, your love of creativity, your love of work, or any aspect of your being which genuinely represents you, and brings you joy. Is that still your firm understanding?

(We say, “It is.”)

Finally, Terry and Tanya, you have said to me that you do not see marriage as producing obligations but rather as providing opportunities . . .
. . . opportunities for growth, for full Self-expression, for lifting your lives to their highest potential, for quieting every false thought or small idea you ever had about yourself, and for ultimate union with all that is through the communion of your two souls . . .
. . . that this is a journey through life with one you love as an equal partner, sharing equally both the authority and the responsibilities inherent in any partnership, bearing equally what burdens there be, basking equally in the glories.
Is that the vision you wish to enter into now?

(We say, “It is.”)

Terry, please repeat after me.
I, Terry . . . ask you, Tanya . . . to be my partner, my lover, my friend, and my wife . . . I announce my intention to give you my deepest friendship and love . . . not only when your moments are high . . . but when they are low . . . not only when you remember clearly Who You Are . . . but when you forget . . . not only when you are acting with love . . . but when you are not . . . I further announce . . . before our friends and loved ones . . . that I will seek always to see the Truth within you . . . and seek always to share . . . the Truth within me . . . even, and especially . . . in whatever moments of darkness may come.
It is my intention to share my life with you. . . in a partnership of the Soul.

(Minister turns to Tanya)Tanya, do you choose to grant Terry’s request that you be his wife?(I answer, “I do.”)

Now Tanya, please repeat after me.
I, Tanya . . . ask you, Terry . . . to be my partner, my lover, my friend, and my husband . . . I announce my intention to give you my deepest friendship and love . . . not only when your moments are high . . . but when they are low . . . not only when you remember clearly Who You Are . . . but when you forget . . . not only when you are acting with love . . . but when you are not . . . I further announce . . . before our friends and loved ones . . . that I will seek always to see the Truth within you . . . and seek always to share . . . the Truth within me . . . even, and especially . . . in whatever moments of darkness may come.
It is my intention to share my life with you. . . in a partnership of the Soul.

(Minister turns to Terry.)

Terry, do you choose to grant Tanya’s request that you be her husband?

(He answers, “I do.”)

And so now, inasmuch as you, Tanya, and you, Terry, have announced the truths that are already written in your hearts, and have witnessed the same in the presence of your friends, family and your Higher Power, we observe joyfully that you have declared yourself to be . . . husband and wife.

Posted: April 15th, 2008 under On a more personal note.
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It’s the Tuesday before my wedding and — even though we had decided all along that this was going to be a no frills affair, somehow I had been talked into getting a new outfit by my mom; a lovely soft yellow and dove grey sleeveless flowy top; sleeveless even though it’s been one of the coldest springs in years in BC — I am feeling a little pasty.  Now that I have this new little outfit chosen for the wedding, I’m thinking that if I’m going to freeze, it is important that I look good doing it.  

I walk in to the most convenient tanning salon I can find and ask the bronze young girl at the front desk what she recommends.  She starts to tell me about the super-pooper ultra spaceship model tanning device that gives off six times the UV whatsit rays of the regular beds…  and then she tells me the price.  For $35.99, I think I can live with being pasty.  Just as I am about to leave, she says the mid range bed for $12.95 a session will probably be good enough.  

 ”You are so dark, I thought you were an avid tanner.”  I tell her I haven’t been in a tanning bed since the ’80’s and she giggles (I’m not sure if she if she was even born yet by the ’80’s).  We settle on the middle bed, she gives me goggles, asks if I ever burn — to which I answer, never — and says I can probably handle a full session.  Oh yeah, I say, I’m sure that’ll be fine.  A few minutes later I am in my bed with my goggles on and I pull down the lid.  Ah, it feels a little claustrophobic and not at all natural, but it’s warm and the hum of the lights and the fan kind of reminds me of ‘om’.  I am enjoying the warmth at least until my back starts to stick to the bed.  I try to arch my back up and hold my arms out in chicken wing fashion – I hate those fake ‘n bake give away white lines at the arm pits.  Then, clunk, the lights turn off and it’s time to get out.  I’m feeling warm and somewhat relaxed.  It was an awkward, but not altogether unpleasant 15 minutes.

As I climb out of the bed I notice there is a little sticker on the bed with a suggested tanning program.  The suggested regime is to begin with… THREE minutes for the first week, then 7 minutes for the second week, 10 minutes in the third week and finally 15 minutes in the fourth week.  I’m a bit nervous after diving right in to 15 minutes, but figure the girl at the front desk wouldn’t have steered me too dangerously wrong.  I thank the nice young girl who is chatting away on the phone and I drive home to look in the mirror for the first time.   Oh my. 

I’m quite …

flush. 

Almost glowing. 

As the minutes and hours go by I become brighter and brighter and begin to feel much like a pumpkin.   I had been hoping to, not exactly hide my frivolous spending from my soon-to-be husband, but I wasn’t planning on flaunting it.  I had to tell him.  He couldn’t be mad because he could see how clearly uncomfortable I was.  As the evening went on, it became worse and worse.  I felt like what I imagine a microwaved chicken must feel… like I was cooking from the inside out. 

Needless to say I spent the next two nights unable to sleep on my back, I was in so much pain from the sun burn.  By the third night I wasn’t in pain anymore, but was insanely itchy and by Friday, the day before the wedding, I was peeling.  Lovely.

Never again.  I wanted to be mad at the dumb young girl at the tanning salon, but I know it’s my own fault.  That stings even more than the sun burn!  It’s vanity that burned me. 

Posted: April 14th, 2008 under On a more personal note.
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