from Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat Pray Love

“I keep remembering one of my Guru’s teachings about happiness.  She says that people universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you’re fortunate enough.  But that’s not how happiness works.  Happiness is the consequence of personal effort.  You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it.  You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings.  And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.  If you don’t, you will leak away your innate contentment.  It’s easy enough to pray when you’re in distress but continuing to pray even when your crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to its good attainments.”

Tonight I am swimming upward into happiness.  I’ve been treading water for a time, caught in the trap of trying to satisfy a more conventional idea of success?  worth?  value?  I found myself in a frenzy of activity persuing, I’ll admit it, the almighty dollar.  I see now that I was persuing the puny dollar. 

Enough of that nonsense. 

Scribbled on a random page in my daytimer is a note I must have jotted down to ponder later or to pass on to my coaching clients:  “Use everything you’ve got to make a difference in the world.”  I know that what I’ve got to make a difference in the world is directly linked to my happiness – when I’m happy, I make a difference.  And when I’m making a difference, I’m happy.

So, what have you got?

Posted: January 13th, 2010 under On a more personal note, life coaching.
Comments: none

These are the affirmations I am currently working with and truly enjoying.  They are taken from Catherine Ponder’s the Dynamic Laws of Prosperity.  I just love the rich language she uses…

I give thanks for the immediate, complete, divine fulfillment of these desires.  This or something better comes forth with perfect timing according to God’s rich good for me:

• My financial affairs are in divine order.  Everyday in everyway, I am getting richer and richer.
• Money flows to me easily and effortlessy according to God’s rich good for me.
• My financial income can and does increase dramatically now through the direct action of God.
• All financial doors are open.
• All financial channels are free and endless bounty now comes to me.
• Abundance, wealth, health and happiness.  Divine intelligence is even now opening the way for my immediate blessings.
• I have faith that all that is mine by divine right now comes to me in rich abundance.
• My rich blessings only add to everyone else’s good since God’s rich substance is unlimited and everywhere for all.  There is no delay!
• I give thanks for ever increasing health, wealth, energy, youth and beauty.
• I begin choosing and accepting the highest good in life.
• I now choose and accept health, success and happiness.
• I now choose lavish abundance for myself and all humankind!
• This is a rich and friendly universe and I dare to accept its riches, its hospitality and to enjoy them now.
• Perfect work in the perfect way for perfect pay.
• I am now living a delightful, interesting and satisfying life of the most widely useful kind.  Because of my own increased health, wealth and happiness, I am now able to help others live a delightful, interesting and satisfying life of the most widely useful kind.
• I am now activated by Divine Love and guided by Divine Power to my right work, which I perform in a perfect way, for perfect pay.
• The divine plan of my life now takes shape in definite, concrete experiences leading to perfect health, happiness, success and prosperity.
• I am now open and receptive to the rich, divine ideas that now perfectly initiate and sustain my business affairs.
• I am divinely equipped to accomplish great things with ease!

Divine intelligence, what positive, constructive, creative thought, word, attitude or action is my next step to improve my present work?

What is the next step into the abundance, satisfaction and freedom that is mine by divine right?

Posted: September 19th, 2009 under On a more personal note.
Comments: none

I joined a facebook group called the 40 Day Challenge; where everyone commits to something, anything, for 40 days.  When I joined I didn’t know what I was going to commit to — some people are getting up at 7am, meditating, dieting, etc. — but I knew I wanted it to be something meaningful… something that would contribute to my personal well being as well as the bigger picture.  While I was on a silent retreat, I found these Five Mindfulness Trainings in Thich Nhat Hanh’s, Creating True Peace.  I am on day 10 of my practice.  Here they are:  Reverance for Life Aware of the suffering caused by the destruction of life, I vow to cultivate compassion and learn ways to protect the lives of people, animals, plants, and minerals.  I am determined not to kill, not to let others kill, and not to condone any act of killing in the world, in my thinking, or in my way of life.  Generosity Aware of the suffering caused by exploitation, social injustice, stealing, and oppression, I vow to cultivate loving kindness and learn ways to work for the well-being of people, animals, plants, and minerals.  I vow to practice generosity by sharing my time, energy, and material resources with those who are in real need.  I am determined not to steal and not to possess anything that should belong to others.  I will respect the property of others, but I will prevent others from profiting from human suffering or the suffering of other species on earth.  Sexual Responsibility Aware of the suffering caused by sexual misconduct, I vow to cultivate responsibility and learn ways to protect the safety and integrity of individuals, couples, families, and society.  I am determined not to engage in sexual relations without love and a long-term commitment.  To preserve the happiness of others, and myself, I am determined to respect my commitments and the commitments of others.  I will do everything in my power to protect children from sexual abuse and to protect couples and families from being broken by sexual misconduct.  Deep Listening and Loving Speech Aware of the suffering caused by the inability to listen to others and unmindful speech, I vow to cultivate deep listening and loving speech in order to bring joy and happiness to others and relieve others of their suffering.  Knowing that words can create happiness or suffering, I vow to learn to speak truthfully with words that inspire self-confidence, joy, and hope.  I am determined not to spread news that I do not know to be certain, and not to criticize or condemn things of which I am not sure.  I will refrain from uttering words that can cause division or discord, or that can cause the family or the community to break.  I will make all efforts to reconcile and resolve all conflicts, however small.  Mindful Consumption Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful consumption, I vow to cultivate good health, both physical and mental, for myself, my family, and my society by practicing mindful eating, drinking, and consuming.  I vow to ingest only items that preserve peace, well-being, and joy in my body, in my consciousness, and in the collective body and consciousness of my family and society.  I understand that a proper diet is crucial for self-transformation and for the transformation of society.  I am determined not to use alcohol or any other intoxicant, or to ingest food or other items that contain toxins, such as certain TV programs, magazines, books, films, and conversations.  I am aware that to damage my body or my consciousness with these poisons is to betray my ancestors, my parents, my society, and future generations.  I will work to transform violence, fear, anger, and confusion in myself and in society by practicing mindful eating for myself and for society.

Posted: September 19th, 2009 under life coaching.
Comments: 3

I was having a conversation this morning with my husband about finances, work ethics and dreams.  We have a very different outlook on each of these topics and yet share similar dreams. 

A girlfriend called this morning… as I write a hummingbird has come to visit my sweet peas… to let me know she is busy all weekend.  She is excited about her business and has some free time away from the responsibilities of her three young boys as they have gone camping for the weekend.  She wants to do something “amazing” this weekend to maximize the “free” time.  So she’s going to do some networking at our music festival.  We also have a very different approach to living our dreams.

As for me, this morning I have been puttering in my house.  Tidying, doing laundry, washing dishes, listening to some of my favourite music (Cat Stevens, Van Morrisson, Bossa ‘n Stones, Yvette Narlock and now Goddess Chants), drinking tea and now doing a little writing.  My tummy has had something up for a week and I’ve just come down with a cold.  Even so, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world right now.

 Does it get any better than this?  I can’t imagine.

 I’ve had some pretty big dreams over the course of my 40 years so far on the planet.  To write a book (done), swim with the dolphins (done; I still want to swim with the whales), go to Africa (done), make a difference in people’s lives (done), love my children (done), fall in love (done, this one I liked so much I’ve done it LOTS of times).  I fulfilled some dreams I didn’t even know I had… run 5 marathons, become an entrepreneur, travelled to Korea, met Wayne Dyer, Neale Walsch, Marianne Williamson, seen the Dalai Lama speak, shared 5 days of silence with Adyashanti.

 I’ve definitely got a few more dreams in me, there’s another book to be written, I’d like to leave some kind of lasting legacy in Africa, I’d like to be fully engaged and making a great living doing the work that I was born to do, I’d like to meet more peace keepers and spiritual teachers, there is much of the world left to explore (Europe, India, Peru, South America)… but for right now, in this moment I am content and so blessed.  I have love in my life and I am enough.  That’s what dreams are made of for me.

Posted: July 11th, 2009 under On a more personal note.
Comments: none

I was listening to a recording from a retreat with Adyashanti I attended in April and wanted to share this bit with you from an exchange Adya was having with one of the participants.  She was expressing her frustration with the struggle towards awakening.  

I’m not saying to stop struggling.

Everything,

Everything,

Everything … is the divine expression; including struggling, thinking, imagining, egoing.  Everything is ultimately the divine expression.  There’s only the one.  Everything is the divine expression.  Everything, including struggling, including striving.  It’s all the divine expression.  All of it.

We keep thinking certain things are it and certain things are not it...  The whole human condition.  The trying to find what you are, the thinking that you’ve lost what you are.  That’s the divine expression.  The realizing it is the divine expression.  You literally can’t get away from it.

So don’t package something that’s happening within you as wrong.  When I say let go of struggling, it’s not a command.  I’m not really talking to your ego, because I know your ego can’t really let go of struggling.  I’m actually talking to that which knows and reminding it as if to say, “Remember you don’t need to struggle.”  I’m bypassing the ego.  So it’s not a command, it’s like, “Remember?  The struggle is the divine expression…. but remember, it’s not necessary.”  As soon as you see that everything is the expression, including the struggle, including the thoughts.  Somehow when you see that, then the struggle lets go.  Even though it is the divine expression, when you see that it is, it let’s go.  When you see that thought can be very delusory and cause a dream state and all sorts of things — the experience of division and separation and all the cruelty and harm that ensues from that – but that’s not separate from the divine expression either.  When we see the whole thing as the expression, then somehow illusion collapses.

The best thing that can ever be done for awakening is to come completely out of division with yourself.  Because that which you are, it’s not waiting for minds to be calmed, struggles to stop.  It’s not waiting for knowledge to be attained, questions to be answered.  Who you are is not waiting for anything at all in order to be what it is.  It’s just that mistaken assumption that something must be wrong because of how I feel or how I behave or because my mind is nutty.  Something must be, that’s the underlying misperception, misunderstanding.  But everything is the divine expression, everything.

This really takes the steam out of “I’m not good enough” doesn’t it?

Posted: August 8th, 2008 under life coaching.
Comments: 5

There was a time when I felt too self conscious to dance… without the aid of a glass of wine or two.  I choose now to feel a little akward and risk looking a little silly.  It is way more fun dancing than sitting watching people dance…   

My son and I have known that it is impossible to look at a baby or a puppy without smiling.  Betcha happy people dancing will have the same effect; just watch — Happy People Dancing on Planet Earth

Posted: July 23rd, 2008 under On a more personal note, life coaching.
Comments: none

“We spend our lives waiting for the great day, the great battle, or the great deed of power. But that external consummation is not given to many, nor is it necessary.  So long as our being is tensed passionately into the spirit in everything, then that spirit will emerge from our hidden, nameless efforts.

To reach these priceless layers is to experience with equal truth that one has need of everything and that one has need of nothing.  Everything is needed because the world will never be large enough to quench our tastes…  and yet nothing is needed because the only reality that can satisfy us lies beyond the transparencies in which it is mirrored.  But everything fades away and dies between us and it will only give reality back to us with greater purity after all.  Everything means both everything and nothing.  Everything is God to me and everything is dust.”
~ Teilhard de Chardin

As a life coach, I hear my clients often saying that they need to find something to be excited about.  There is a be more, do more, have more culture that we are constantly bombarded with.  I am coming to understand that this longing and constant wanting that we feel is for something of a far deeper meaning than trips and trinkets will ever fulfill.

Posted: July 20th, 2008 under life coaching.
Comments: 1

It’s been far too long since I have entered a post.  This is in part because I am going through a time of transition personally and professionally (aren’t we all — always?).  So as I continue to define myself and my (so-called) message, I will just enter what comes to mind or in this case, provide passages that I read that I find relevant to my life situation of the day.

 Here’s one from Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth:

 Giving Up Role Playing

When you don’t play roles, it means there is no self (ego) in what you do.  There is no secondary agenda:  protection or strengthening of yourself.  As a result, your actions have far greater power.  You are totally focused on the situation.  You become one with it.  You don’t try to be anybody in particular.  You are most powerful, most effective, when you are completely yourself.  But don’t try to be yourself.  That’s another role.  It’s called, “natural, spontaneous me.”  As soon as you are trying to be this or that, you are playing a role.  “Just be yourself” is good advice, but it can also be misleading.  The mind will come in and say, “Let’s see.  How can I be myself?”  Then, the mind will develop some kind of strategy:  “How to be myself.”  Another role.  “How can I be myself?” is, in fact, the wrong question.  It implies you have to do something to be yourself.  But how doesn’t apply here because you are yourself already.  Just stop adding unnecessary baggage to who you already are.  “But I don’t know who I am.  I don’t know what it means to be myself.”  If you can be absolutely comfortable with not knowing who you are, then what’s left is who you are — the Being behind the human, a field of pure potentiality rather than something that is already defined.

Give up defining yourself — to yourself or to others.  You won’t die.  You will come to life.  And don’t be concerned with how others define you.  When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it’s their problem.  Whenever you interact with people, don’t be there primarily as a function or a role, but as a field of conscious Presence.

Why does the ego play roles?  Because of one unexamined assumption, one fundamental error, one unconscious thought.  That thought is:  I am not enough.  Other unconscious thoughts follow:  I need to play a role in order to get what I need to be fully myself; I need to get more so that I can be more.  But you cannot be more than you are because underneath your physical and psychological form, you are one with Life itself, one with Being.  In form, you are and will always be inferior to some, superior to others.  In essence, you are neither inferior nor superior to anyone.  True self esteem and true humility are contradictory.  In truth, they are one and the same.

So…  thank you Mr. Tolle, I will stop, right now, the project of defining myself and get down to the business of Being. 

Posted: July 10th, 2008 under News.
Comments: none

I was flipping through the Georgia Straight this morning while sipping tea, stressing out over the last details of the Women With Wings conference, when I came across this article headline Stressed students pushed to breaking point .  The article tells the story of a 19 year old student feeling stressed by the pressure to work and study longs hours to get ahead. 

 ”Aside from the long hours she puts in for pay she is enrolled full-time at Kwantlen, coaches soccer on the weekend, and is involved in competitive cheerleading almost daily.  She estimates her precious moments of downtime add up to less than one day a week.” 

I was not this kind of student, nor is my oldest son — when he chose not to complete his first semester of college, he told me he was really enjoying not having any responsibility right now.  He’s 18.  I can relate.  I often say that I do not suffer from workaholism and yet I repeatedly find myself with my plate overflowing.  Are we addicted to chaos, or the drama that comes from the drive to be more, do more, have more?

I’m ready for a simpler life.  Is it possible to do one or two things really well?  What if our worth was measured on who we are… our level of integrity and kindness rather than our grades and accomplishments?   

Posted: April 30th, 2008 under News.
Comments: none

On Saturday, April 12th, I was married to Terry Nielsen in the sunshine surrounded by friends and loved ones. We adapted the ceremony from “Conversations With God, Book 3,” by Neale Donald Walsh. I’ll share it with you here:

“Terry and Tanya have not come here today to make a solemn promise or to exchange a sacred vow.

They have come here to make public their love for each other; to declare their choice to live as partners and grow together - out loud and in your presence, out of their desire that we will all come to feel a very real and intimate part of their decision, and thus make it even more powerful.

They’ve also come here today in the further hope that their ritual of bonding will help bring us all closer together. If you are here today with a partner, let this ceremony be a reminder - a rededication of your own loving bond.

We’ll begin by asking the question: Why get married? Terry and Tanya have answered this question for themselves, and they’ve told me the answer. Now I want to ask them one more time, so they can be sure of their answer and firm in their commitment to the truth they share.

You have told me it is your firm understanding that you are not entering into this marriage for reasons of security . . .
. . .  that the only real security is not in owning or possessing, nor in being owned or possessed . . .
. . . not in demanding or expecting, and not even in hoping, that what you think you need in life will be supplied by the other . . .
. . . but rather, in knowing that everything you need in life, all the love, all the wisdom, all the insight, all the power, all the knowledge, all the understanding, all the nurturing, all the compassion, and all the strength . . . resides within you . . .

. . . and that you are not marrying the other in hopes of getting these things, but in hopes of giving these gifts, that the other might have them in even greater abundance.
Is that your firm understanding today?

(We say, “It is.”)

And Terry and Tanya, you have told me it is your firm understanding you are not entering into this marriage as a means of in any way limiting, controlling, hindering, or restricting each other from any true expression of that which is the highest and best within you - including your spirituality, your love of life, your love of people, your love of creativity, your love of work, or any aspect of your being which genuinely represents you, and brings you joy. Is that still your firm understanding?

(We say, “It is.”)

Finally, Terry and Tanya, you have said to me that you do not see marriage as producing obligations but rather as providing opportunities . . .
. . . opportunities for growth, for full Self-expression, for lifting your lives to their highest potential, for quieting every false thought or small idea you ever had about yourself, and for ultimate union with all that is through the communion of your two souls . . .
. . . that this is a journey through life with one you love as an equal partner, sharing equally both the authority and the responsibilities inherent in any partnership, bearing equally what burdens there be, basking equally in the glories.
Is that the vision you wish to enter into now?

(We say, “It is.”)

Terry, please repeat after me.
I, Terry . . . ask you, Tanya . . . to be my partner, my lover, my friend, and my wife . . . I announce my intention to give you my deepest friendship and love . . . not only when your moments are high . . . but when they are low . . . not only when you remember clearly Who You Are . . . but when you forget . . . not only when you are acting with love . . . but when you are not . . . I further announce . . . before our friends and loved ones . . . that I will seek always to see the Truth within you . . . and seek always to share . . . the Truth within me . . . even, and especially . . . in whatever moments of darkness may come.
It is my intention to share my life with you. . . in a partnership of the Soul.

(Minister turns to Tanya)Tanya, do you choose to grant Terry’s request that you be his wife?(I answer, “I do.”)

Now Tanya, please repeat after me.
I, Tanya . . . ask you, Terry . . . to be my partner, my lover, my friend, and my husband . . . I announce my intention to give you my deepest friendship and love . . . not only when your moments are high . . . but when they are low . . . not only when you remember clearly Who You Are . . . but when you forget . . . not only when you are acting with love . . . but when you are not . . . I further announce . . . before our friends and loved ones . . . that I will seek always to see the Truth within you . . . and seek always to share . . . the Truth within me . . . even, and especially . . . in whatever moments of darkness may come.
It is my intention to share my life with you. . . in a partnership of the Soul.

(Minister turns to Terry.)

Terry, do you choose to grant Tanya’s request that you be her husband?

(He answers, “I do.”)

And so now, inasmuch as you, Tanya, and you, Terry, have announced the truths that are already written in your hearts, and have witnessed the same in the presence of your friends, family and your Higher Power, we observe joyfully that you have declared yourself to be . . . husband and wife.

Posted: April 15th, 2008 under On a more personal note.
Comments: 2